As a mom, it’s often difficult to find something that’s just MINE. Squeezing in my favorite chair along with a small person or two, honoring requests for bites off my plate, handing over clothing items to my teen daughter with the promise they’ll be promptly returned. Parenting is about sacrifice, leading by example, showing love in all we do. Parenting can also daily remind us of the extent to which how “unselfish” we are called to be in order to meet the needs of the children depending on us. The needs are constant and I need to be able (and available) to serve.
As a natural-born introvert I truly enjoy some time to just be alone and in my own head. This is all the more difficult when I’m home full-time, homeschooling, chauffeuring and constantly surrounded by my little crew of four (and the occasional extra child or two hanging around the house). The little two are up early (by 6 or so most mornings) and the big two are up until late (10 or 10:30 most nights), so there’s a limited amount of time without people around, asking questions, looking for help, needing some attention.
Running has served as that space of my own over the last few years. For this girl, it’s definitely a solo sport. No running buddy necessary. Headphones prepped, music or podcast ready and out the door. The difficulty I’ve had these last couple of months is the non-cooperative weather, giving me excuses to not get out, shortening up the runs I do get to have. As a result, I’ve struggled to maintain mileage (also trying to avoid losing endurance and skill). I miss my guaranteed 3-4 times each week when I can be alone for an hour or so.
Some days I find it disheartening because I know there won’t be a break in the constant dull roar of my household (happy roar, sad roar, angry roar – all kinds, but a roar nonetheless!). Then I have to “create” opportunities for my alone time – a few extra minutes in the bathroom before someone comes hunting me down or driving the long way home on the rare occasions when the little guys both fall asleep in the van. It helps, but doesn’t feel the same.
“Self-care” is a hot word now – and it can mean anything from getting enough rest and eating healthy foods to going for regular massages or mani-pedis. At times I feel selfish wanting or needing time away from my kids, or even from my husband. I do know that I’m more rested mentally, better able to deal with the traumas and daily crises of childrearing and in an exceedingly better mood. Self-care of some sort is critical for well-being.
While I wait for the weather to improve, I’ll sneak in a run when I can. I think my time alone makes me a nicer person and a better mom. I think we all need something that is ours: an activity or hobby, something that brings peace to our souls and a calm to our minds. Here’s hoping for warmer sun-filled days soon!
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